What It's Really Like In Mario Kart 7
by Herping Derping Derpturd
Summary: So... BLOOPER TIME! Experience Mario and his new racing pals. There will be randomness. Tons of it! Along with an epic conclusion after the races. Stay tuned to see... eventually.
1. The Awesome Introduction

_Hey there everybody, I'm so happy to finally write something. :D _

_Well anyway, you guys know Mario Kart 7 for the Nintendo 3DS right? I will be telling you what it's REALLY like in the races. There are 32 chapters of 150cc (one chapter for each race), excluding this chapter plus a bonus chapter. This is the introduction chapter where we meet the racers and stuffz, BUT what I will be changing is the number of players per race, (8 to 16 players). Hooray for planning that has been planned._

_-: Character switch._

_-: Author will say a few words._

_Anyway, LET'S GET DIS SHOW ON DA ROAD! LOL get it?_

**What it's Really Like In Mario Kart 7**

**Chapter 1: The Awesome Introduction**

It's just a fine day in the Mushroom Kingdom where practically all the racers are from.

Mario, the fat Italian plumber and his psychotic brother Luigi are preparing their karts for the new Mario Kart Races.

"Luuweegee, can you pass the-"Mario stares in disbelief, "W…What did you do to your kart?"

"Oh, now you notice," his brother answered.

"Notice what?"

"Notice what I have done to my kart for the past 3 months."

"….so… you're a scientific guy aren't you?"

"Well… I wouldn't say that…" he answers in a weird voice.

"Then what would you say?"

"**PSYCHOTIC!**" he says in a very horrifying way as he goes nuts destroying everything in his way.

"Okay…..I'll see you later then…" Mario stared with a major WTF face.

* * *

><p>"Peach, hurry up we're going to be late" Daisy yelled out loud.<p>

"Alright, you B!%ch, just let me pick an outfit," Peach yelled out back.

"Well aren't you a bit touchy?"

"I AM NOT TOUCHY! IM GANGSTA B!%CH!" She yelled as she raged her way to her kart in a biker's suit. (O-o)

"….yup, she's touchy alright…." Daisy thought to herself.

* * *

><p>"BWAHAHA…" laughed the Koopa King, "New Mario Kart Grand Prix, eh?"<p>

"TROOPS REPORT!" he yelled instantly

Panting down the hallway comes the well-known Koopa Troopa and a Red Shy Guy, "What do you *pant* want your rottenness?" Asked the exhausted, Shy Guy.

"I want you two to join me in a new Mario Kart Grand Prix," Bowser mumbled to them.

"What's in it for us?" Asked to Koopa, who finally caught his breath.

"….Ummmm….." Bowser thought carefully, "free lunches at the cafeteria."

"THANK YOU KING BOWSER, WE ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOO IN!" they shouted together and skipped off happily.

"…. I gotta get me some troops who won't ask for ANYTHING in return…." Bowser said greedily.

* * *

><p>"Princess Peach? Princess? PRINCESS PEACH?" yelled a familiar looking lad, "I can't believe she left me here…." He sobbed.<p>

He suddenly heard a rumbling noise coming from all directions. "Bloody Hell?" he said shocked by the quakes.

"I-I-I-I C-C-C-C-A-A-A-A-N-N-N-N-T-T-T-T S-S-S-S-T-T-T-T-O-O-O-O-P-P-P-P!" yelled Luigi as came around bouncing on his head like a jack-hammer.

"Gack!" yelled Toad as he was flung backwards.

"S-S-S-S-O-O-O-O-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-Y-Y-Y-Y" Luigi managed to yell at him, "I-I-I-I S-S-S-S-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-M-M-M-M T-T-T-T-O-O-O-O B-B-B-B-E-E-E-E UNABLE TO STOP!"

As Luigi bounced off, Toad was laying on the ground in a stunned heap of shrooms, "What….the…..Hell…..was….that?" he managed to say before falling unconscious.

* * *

><p>"I still can't believe you forgot Toad…." Daisy said to Peach seriously.<p>

"I still can't believe that you won't SHUT THE #!%& UP!" Peach yelled at her, taking her hands off the wheel, "I swear, I'm going to strangle you until your face is blue!"

"Steering *cough* would be *wheeze* nice…" Daisy managed to say.

Peach looked up and saw that they were heading directly for a cliff.

"Mother F-" is all what Peach got to say before they plunged toward a small lake.

* * *

><p>"Ohhh Bees? Where are you guys?" yelled a sweet voice.<p>

"*Buzz* *Buzz* you called your highness?" answered the Chief Bee.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I did" answered the Queen.

"Well, what is it that you want?"

"I would like you to tell all the bees that I have been invited to a Mario Kart Grand Prix, where I can finally show the whole Mushroom Kingdom my awesome driving skittles. I mean skills."

"By awesome driving skills, you mean terrible driving skills?" the Chief asked.

"…Yes, yes I do," The Queen answered.

"Ok, I'll go tell the bees exactly what you said," the chief said awkwardly.

* * *

><p>"I wonder where Luuweegee got off to," said the Italian plumber. "Oh well, I guess I'll have to leave without-" he was caught off when he heard a jack-hammering noise getting louder "What is that sound?"<p>

He then saw Luigi going nuts on his head, going in circles.

"M-M-M-M-A-A-A-A-R-R-R-R-I-I-I-I-O-O-O-O H-H-H-H-E-E-E-E-L-L-L-L-P-P-P-P!" Luigi yelled.

Mario grabs his hammer and jumps to his bro's rescue. An epic slow-motion event happened when Mario was about to slam his hammer on Luigi.

"STOP! Hammer Time!" Mario said when he slammed the hammer right between Luigi's legs.

"Mama Mia…." Luigi moaned in a twitching state.

"Your welcome" Mario said afterward.

"Listen Mario, Why did you have to hit me in the nuts?" Luigi asked in pain.

"I hit you there because it's your off switch."

"Oh yeah, right…" Luigi agreed not remembering his nuts as an off switch, "But…NOW I CAN'T HAVE BABIES!"

Luigi got a hammer in the face, "Shut up. You'll be fine." Mario said.

* * *

><p><em>Ok, I honestly think that Luigi is so gullible and stupid that it's funny. Mario is abusive.<em>

* * *

><p>"Ler-Hay!" boomed a familiar voice.<p>

"What is it Dunky?" asked Diddy Kong

"Oooh-Hah-Hah-Ler-Oooh! (I've been invited to a new Mario Kart Grand Prix)" Donkey Kong said excitedly.

"Is it surprizing that I can talk and he can't?" Diddy said awkwardly.

"…What does you mean?" Donkey Kong said surprizingly.

"What the Fiddlesticks?" Diddy yelled surprized.

"Yeah… me can talk all da time" Donkey Kong said, "Me only kept it secret… until now."

"Well…this is awkward, talking with Dunky; I'm used to being a translator to other people…" Diddy mumbled to himself. "Well, I wish you good luck in the Mario Kart Grand Prix."

"Yup, good luck to me" DK said as he waved bye to Diddy.

* * *

><p>"Hmmmm… knowing that Mario, he will most likely win again…" Bowser mumbled.<p>

"I GOT IT!" Bowser burst out loud, snapping his fingers, "KAMEK get yo lazy ass up here!"

"For the thousandth time I'll tell you, DON'T WAKE ME UP WHEN I'M TAKING MY BEAUTY SLEEP!" Kamek roared at him.

"Ok…." Bowser said disturbed, "Anyway, I need you to take this strand of Mario's hair, and make a clone of him and then make him eat a Metal Mushroom to make him have a permanent metal body."

"Why do I have to do the magic stuff?" Kamek complained.

"That is because I don't show any talents of magic along with all my other troops, you happen to be the only one who can perform magic." Bowser said in a mouthful.

"Ugh, fine" Kamek sighed, "Give me the hair."

As he walked out, Bowser looked out his window, "Soon, the Mushroom Kingdom will be mine…"

* * *

><p>WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY out in space there laid a space ship sort of thing, where Lumas flew everywhere.<p>

"Is everybody ready?" asked a very sweet voice, "Now say cheeeeeeeeeeese!"

"CHEEEEEEEESE!" everybody yelled.

As the picture was taken for their 69th anniversary of the endless space cruise, Rosalina went over the see the picture where she noticed a note.

"What is this?" she asked when she picked up the checkered coloured note.

"It came in the mail not too long ago," answered the delivery Luma.

"Oh, well that's most fortunate," Rosalina said, "Well, let's see what this note says."

"What does it say?" one of the Lumas asked.

"YIPPEE!" Rosalina said with too much excitement. During this time her dress got ripped off and she never noticed. Every Luma stared with straight faces, trying not to laugh at her. One who conveniently had a camera took a picture of this moment.

When Rosalina calmed down she noticed everyone staring at her, "What are you guys looking at?" Every Luma, with their stubby arms, pointed at the floor where her dress laid, while staring at her.

She looked over to where they were pointing and her face turn red, "Well… who wants to do it with me?" she asked, "I still got the time."

Everyone yelled, "HELL YEAH!," and raced over to her.

* * *

><p><em>If you think Rosalina is #!%&amp;ing 69 then you're #!%&amp;ing wrong! Details will be told later.<em>

* * *

><p>In a grassy field there was Yoshi and a very pissed off Wiggler.<p>

"C'mon, settle this like a man!" Yoshi said when he got in a battle pose.

"**YOU! WON'T! LIVE! TO! SEE! TOMORROW!**" Wiggler said, raging his ass off.

"Come at me, Bro!" Yoshi said getting pumped.

After Yoshi said that, Wiggler threw himself at him, trying to tackle him with mighty force but ended up being eaten. "Hey that's no fair!" Wiggler complained from within a stomach.

"You snooze, you lose."

"Shut the hell up! That's an old one."

"Go #!%& yourself."

"I would, but you're already doing it for me."

Yoshi instantly spat him out, "At least I don't rage from someone just poking me on the side."

"Hey back off, I thought you were an evil villainy guy."

"Well, I'm not an evil guy; I'm the nicest and most skilled dinosaur on Yoshi's Island."

"What ARE your skills?"

"Driving, eating a sh!tload of food, playing all kinds of sports, getting betrayed by Mario in some of his games, and I have a great sense of smell."

"Wait wuh, you can drive?"

"Yeah…I've been participating in all of the Mario Kart Grand Prixs."

"All I've done all my life was, being an obstacle in Maple Treeway in Mario Kart Wii, getting stuck in a tree (Mario Kart), getting pwned by Mario, and other stuff."

"No kidding."

"Yeah… it gets very anno-" he was caught off when a checkered note flew into his face.

"… You got something on your face," Yoshi said.

"NO SH!T, DUMBASS!"

"Well? What does it say?" Yoshi asked impatiently.

"OH MAH GAWD!" Wiggler yelled shocked, "We've been invited to a new Mario Kart Grand Prix!"

"Well, it makes sense for me, but why were YOU invited?"

"I dunno, but I think they finally recognized my awesomeness!"

"Do you even know how to drive?"

"Apparently not."

"Well, allow me to teach yo ass some driving skills."

"Hey Pablo!"

"WHAT?" Pablo replied somehow.

"This nice green dinosaur, named Yoshi, is going to teach you how to drive."

"Apparently you forgot that I have no hands!" Pablo said (again somehow).

"By, "yo ass", I didn't really mean your actual ass," Yoshi piped up.

"Ohhh… I don't get it," Wiggler said confused.

"Ugh, I'm gonna teach YOU some driving techniques!" Yoshi said enraged.

"Oh, now I get it."

"Can we please get started?" Yoshi asked.

"Yes, yes we shall," Wiggler said as he followed Yoshi.

* * *

><p>"BA-HA-HA-HA," laughed a maniac "I'm getting there first!" He looked over at the clock, it read '2:30pm.' "I might aswell just leave for the races now, I've got nothing else to do."<p>

As he prepared his purple vehicle to leave, Waluigi came through the door, literally.

"Wario! Get yo fat ass here now! This is an emergency!" Waluigi started shaking him, "Don't let them get me!"

"What did you do now?" Wario asked, rolling his eyes.

"I robbed a bank! Again!"

"Where's the money then?"

"I gave it to some loser that I owe money to."

"Then… get your fake moustache."

"Genius."

"Man, I dunno how he's gonna survive the next few months or days without my awesome advice…" Wario thought to himself.

* * *

><p>"I'm glad that's done and over with…" Rosalina thought to herself, "Now let's see when the races start."<p>

She reached for the note and read it. "HOLY SH!T!" she yelled, "I'M GOING TO BE LATE!"

She nearly had a major panic attack, almost causing a heart attack. "I SWEAR I'LL NEVER BE SUCH A SLOWPOKE EVER AGAIN!" she yelled as she ran for the teleports, half naked.

And she beamed away, out of sight.

* * *

><p>"Oh C'mon, bro!" came a complaint, in a red shell, "I MUST RACE IN THESE STINKEN RACES!"<p>

"Alright fine!" replied the guy in a green shell, "You may flippin' race!"

"Yay!" the red Lakitu squealed, " I don't know how to thank you, bro."

"Share the winnings with me, when you win, even if you don't win you owe me 3,000 coins, meaning the prize money is 6,000 coins in all, will be good enough" the green Lakitu, and the starting guy, replied.

"…Alright, fine" the red Lakitu replied, sighing.

* * *

><p>"I must work on this fast…" Kamek said tiredly, "I have already missed half of my beauty sleep."<p>

As he put the strand of hair into the cloning device, he began to make the permanent Metal Mushroom. He placed a bunch of fire-proof metal into the mix, along with some magic potions.

When he finished making the shroom, the cloning device has completed cloning a Mario.

The doors opened dramatically, and he walked out of the chamber, "I am ready…" he said dramatically, "to… kick that Koopa's ass!" the clone said.

Kamek had to forcefully strap the clone to a chair to brainwash him for Bowser's evil doings. He went to grab a hypnoses device out of a cupboard and swung it back and forth in front of the clone.

"You are getting very sleepy…" Kamek said dementedly, "You will do anything that Bowser and I say…" and anything else hypnotic.

"Yes… I will do what you guys say…" the Mario replied.

"Eat this stinken shroom for awesome effects" Kamek ordered after he snapped his fingers.

The clone ate the shroom whole, and started to glow. When the glowing faded, his body has completely changed, thus the beginning of Metal Mario.

* * *

><p>"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…!" yelled Peach and Daisy, at the top of their lungs, "WHY MUST WE BE FALLING DOWN A CLIFF RIGHT NOW WHEN WE COULD BE RACING DAMMIT?"<p>

"Well, you did strangle me, causing you to lose focus on driving and the road, and thus we are falling down a cliff" Daisy said logically.

"WOULD YOU STOP BEING SO GOD DMN LOGICAL?" Peach enraged, strangling her yet again.

Then comes an earthquake-like rumble.

"What the !#%& was that?" Peach asked shocked by the rumble.

"We… hit the bottom?" Daisy suggested.

"Hey, look! We landed on something!" Peach cheered.

"Or, someone! Quick get out of the vehicle and lift it up!"

They lifted the vehicle up, and found they landed on the unconscious Toad.

"OH MAH GAWD! TOAD!" Daisy yelled, Peach didn't give a sh!t.

She lifted the poor shroom up and placed him in the back of the vehicle, when she turned to face Peach, she was looking in the opposite direction.

"Uh, Peach? Shouldn't we be heading to the races now?"

"If you say another word, I'll dump you off another cliff," Peach said as she got in the somehow undamaged car.

Daisy got in without saying a word and they drove off.

* * *

><p><em>I honestly think that Peach is just one mean b!%ch.<em>

* * *

><p>Wario was first to arrive at the races, as usual.<p>

"Welcome Wario, do you have the invitation note that we sent you so that you may enter?" The green Lakitu asked.

"Yes I do!" Wario said as he took it out of his mouth. "I didn't eat it like last time."

The Lakitu put on a glove and took it from his hand, "Thank you, you may now enter and must wait for the others."

Wario drove by giving the Lakitu the middle finger.

* * *

><p>Donkey Kong was the second to arrive in his banana-mobile.<p>

"Um, this is new, right?" Lakitu said, staring.

"Ya bet mofo!" Donkey Kong said.

"What the !#%&?" Lakitu said, "You can talk?"

"Uh-huh, Diddy was also shocked."

"Ah, well anyway hand me your invitation."

Donkey Kong handed it to him and entered.

* * *

><p>Rosalina, third to show, came running down the road doing up her dress.<p>

Lakitu didn't notice the security cameras recorded this because she wasn't in a vehicle that and the fact he was reading the newspaper.

"Hey Laki- DID YOU EVEN NOTICE I WAS COMING? Rosalina roared at him.

Lakitu jumped up, spiting his coffee out to because he was shocked, "Uh… yes?"

"Okay good, well anyway here's my invitation."

Lakitu took it and crossed out Rosalina's name on the participants list.

* * *

><p><em>Crossed out means that they showed up, not crossed out means that they have not shown up yet.<em>

* * *

><p>Mario and Luigi have just left their house due to Luigi having difficulties recovering from his injuries.<p>

"You could have just sucked it up, like a man y'know," Mario said.

"Are you saying I'm not a man?" Luigi asked enraged.

"Yes, I am saying that."

"Sadly it's true."

"I know, I know but now's not the time to talk about how much of a wimp you are, we gotta get to the races and fast."

"Can we stop for snacks?" Luigi asked randomly.

"NO!"

"Awww…"

* * *

><p>"C'mon troops! We're almost there!" Bowser yelled at Koopa Troopa, Shy Guy and Metal Mario.<p>

"We're going the fastest our karts can take us!" Shy Guy and Koopa Troopa replied, Metal Mario didn't say anything.

Bowser arrived there first and put his invitation on the booth counter and entered.

Koopa Troopa, Shy Guy and Metal Mario who all somehow hand invitations placed theirs on the counter aswell.

Lakitu had fallen asleep or else he would have welcomed them all. He was startled when he heard the sounds of engines roaring off. "Okay, that's now Bowser, Koopa Troopa, Shy Guy, Metal Mario, Rosalina, Donkey Kong, Wario, and my annoying brother, who have shown up," he said as he read the invitations, "Good thing I did install those observing cameras where they all live, or else I never would've sent invitations to Koopa Troopa, Shy Guy and Metal Mario."

* * *

><p>Yoshi and Wiggler were the next two to arrive at the races. Which Wiggler is having car trouble because he just built his standard kart.<p>

"Good thing we had time to build you a kart." Yoshi said when they arrived.

"Yep, it is and I'm pretty sure I can handle the horsepower of this vehicle," Wiggler said, agreeing with the dino.

"Welcome Yoshi and… caterpillar thing, please hand me your invitations so that-" Lakitu was cut off.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME? Wiggler asked.

"Take it easy buddy, he doesn't know your name but according to that board thing, back there he does" Yoshi said timidly.

"Well, as long as he knows my name, I'm okay."

"Of course I know your name, it's… Wigg…err… Miggler? Or rhymes with it?" Lakitu said confused."

"Well, I guess its murder time." Wiggler said as his entire body turned red.

"Just gimme your invitation and I will know your dmn name!" Lakitu yelled.

"Fine, here ya go." Wiggler said, Yoshi feeling very disturbed and weird.

"Okay, Wiggler you may enter and you to, Yoshi."

"YOU FINALLY GOT MY NAME! CONGRATULATIONS!" Wiggler said as he drove through.

"Just ignore him, he's in a bad mood today" Yoshi whispered to the Lakitu and drove off aswell.

* * *

><p>The Honey Queen just flew by the booth at top speed and crashed into a wall. There was a massive explosion afterward and she somehow managed to be unharmed.<p>

"Whew, that was close …" the Queen said as she emerged from the blackness, "Sorry for the wall…" she said the Lakitu who was using his 'death' stare on her.

"Just give me your invitation, and you'll be fine…" Lakitu managed to say.

She handed her invitation to him and went to where the other racers were.

* * *

><p>Mario &amp; Luigi have just arrived and they were almost late.<p>

"I TOLD YOU NOT OVERDUE IT WITH THE MUSHROOMS!" Mario yelled at Luigi.

"Wuh…*hiccup* I dun get it…" Luigi moaned.

"YOU ATE TOO MANY SHROOMS!"

"Ohhh…"

"It's about time you guys got here, what took ya so long?" Lakitu asked Mario.

"He over done it; he ate too many shrooms" Mario replied, handing over two invitations.

"Well that figures, he craves shrooms."

"Yup, I know." Mario said as he drove off, along with the unconscious Luigi.

* * *

><p>"We are so late!" Peach said as they arrived.<p>

"No kidding!" Daisy said as she gave Lakitu the three invitations.

"Now we are all here, I will tell you all the rules as soon as I can" Lakitu said.

Peach, Daisy and Toad, who is currently unconscious, drove off to meet the other participants.

* * *

><p>"So when will the races start?" Wario asked Yoshi.<p>

"I dunno, when Peach and the others get here, I guess."

Peach and the others came through the gates and Toad finally woke up.

"WHERE THE HELL AM I?" He immediately asked.

"You're at the Mario Kart Grand Prix place" said a familiar voice on a huge big screen television.

"NO SH!T SHERLOCK!" yelled Bowser.

"I can hear you, ya know."

"No kidding, and we can hear you to" Mario said, giving Bowser an unexpected hammer to the face.

"Yes, very good, anyways." Lakitu paused, "Welcome to The New Mario Kart Grand Prix, I'm yo host, Lakitu and we are going to have a-"

"What are you teaching? Kindergarteners?" Rosalina asked.

"LET ME FINISH!" Lakitu yelled. "As I was saying, we are going to have a lot of 'fun' in these races. There will be new upgrades to every vehicle, including air tanks and gliders. You will be able to customize your vehicles to your wanting, and beware of the new items, they are overpowered, plus you can use them multiple times. ARE YOU READY TO RACE?

"Yeah!" everybody, except Metal Mario, cheered.

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Lakitu yelled.

YEAH!" Everyone cheered.

"Okay, you have 20 minutes to customize your vehicles, starting… NOW!"

Everybody raced off to prepare their vehicles. There were fights, and even entertaining fights. Twenty minutes later they all approached the teleporter to the first race.

And soon the madness begins…

* * *

><p><em>OH MAH GAWD I HAVE FINALLY COMPLETED THIS CHAPTER!<em>

_Ok, So Rosalina Isn't 69, she's around 21, her parents, who haven't been motioned ever died when she was only 5 and the Lumas raised her. So, now you know my theory, time to find out other peoples theory. Bonus chapter will remain secret until the end of the grand prix._


	2. This Is Toad Circuit?

_I am happy to get this chapter posted so soon after the first chapter. The Grand Prix is finally beginning, and so the fun begins. Scoreboard and kart combo for everyone, will be placed at end of chapter._

_Starting Positions: Wario first, Donkey Kong second, Rosalina Third, Bowser fourth, Koopa Troopa fifth, Shy Guy sixth, Metal Mario seventh, Red Lakitu eighth (due to difficulties), Wiggler ninth, Yoshi tenth, Honey Queen eleventh, Mario twelfth, Luigi thirteenth, Toad fourteenth, Daisy fifteenth, and Peach sixteenth. _

_I'm also only going to do the first lap and some hilarious parts between the end of lap 1 and the end of lap 3, excluding the races with the 'sections' in it. (Rainbow Road, Maka Wuhu, Wuhu Loop)_

_Oh, by the way, anything in italics is my thoughts and stuff. That and my character switching/author would say a few words thing failed, miserably._

* * *

><p><strong>What it's Really Like In Mario Kart 7<strong>

**Chapter 2: This Is Toad Circuit?**

All the racers approached the starting line in the order they arrived in. None were aware of the epic race ahead of them. Wario, who is apparently starting first, laughed idiotically at the other competitor's customizations. Toad who picked out the Soda Jet and the Roller Wheels was having difficulties controlling the vehicle.

"Why must I be starting last?" Peach complained.

"Because YOU were the b!%ch, who dumped us, off a cliff!" Daisy answered, "Also, your invitation was at the bottom of the pile I handed to Lakitu."

"YOU SON OF A B!%CH!" Peach raged, "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU FOR THIS!"

"Good to know…" Daisy said disturbed.

"I hope my dress doesn't come off again…" Rosalina thought out loud.

"If it does, I call doing it with you!" Bowser roared.

"Ew…"

"Where is that stupid Lakitu?" Mario thought, "We're burning daylight."

Toad looked off into the distance, he noticed huge balloons of Toads everywhere. "Holy sh!t," he yelled, "Are those balloons, of my kind, good luck charms?"

"I hope not," the red Lakitu answered.

"Anyways, where is that Lakitu that gave me his death stare at?" Honey Queen asked.

In a box not too far away from the starting line, Lakitu was in there, with a trigger of some sort in his hand and a bottle of alcohol in the other. "I lied about you being fine…" he said to himself as he pushed the button on the trigger. Unfortunately the bomb he set for the Honey Queen, blew up Yoshi.

"**I! HATE! MY! LIFE!**" Yoshi screamed as he burned to death.

Everyone turned their attention to Yoshi and bursts out laughing, everyone except for Metal Mario who was just sitting there, focusing straight ahead.

"Oops…" Lakitu mumbled when he noticed he blew up the wrong person. "I guess it's time to start the race."

Lakitu exited the building, got in his cloud and flew over to where the racers were. Once there, he apologized for being late; he had to take care of some business.

"Well that figures… I wonder what it could've been…" Mario thought, eyeing the empty alcohol bottle in the Lakitu's hand.

"I'm going to have to upper advantage due to this course being my speciality" Toad piped up.

"SHUT UP TOAD!" Everyone yelled at him.

"Anyway, can we get on with the race?" Luigi asked, impatiently.

"Yes, we can begin the races." Lakitu answered him.

"FINALLY!" Bowser yelled.

"Okay, 3… 2… 1…" he fell face first on the ground, twitching.

Everyone stared, until Wario spoke, "I guess that means, GO!"

Everyone ran over the Lakitu, which caused him the wake up. "**I! DIDN'T! SAY! GO!**" he yelled at them.

* * *

><p><em>Lakitu is apparently an alcoholic, he loves the beer.<em>

* * *

><p>"Get that piece of sh!t away from me!" Bowser roared at Donkey Kong.<p>

"You got da piece of sh!t, b!%ch!" DK roared back.

They banged their karts together multiple times, allowing many racers to pass them. Toad who conveniently was facing backwards, gave them both the middle finger.

Bowser gave him the death look, "Donkey Kong, let's kick his ass!" The monkey nodded in agreement.

They both caught up to the shroom, one taking the left side and the other on the right. Toad looked around, noticing the two on each side of him, he gave a frown before they both slammed into him, crushing the vehicle and the poor mushroom.

"That was brutal…" Yoshi said when he passed the squished jet-kart.

* * *

><p>"Suckers… I'm way out in front…" Wario thought. When he turned around, to face the front, he found that an oversized Toad was flying above him, "HOLY SH!T!" he yelled.<p>

He came to a stop and blocked off many racers, due to his fat-ass vehicle.

"Hey! What's the hold up?" Wiggler asked.

"Wiggler, shut yo damn piehole already!" Luigi yelled, "Wario's fat ass is blocking us, allowing Mario, red Lakitu, Shy Guy, and Rosalina to pass us… and now Metal Mario passed us aswell."

"I think YOU'RE better off shutting up, Luigi" Daisy added, "By the looks of things, Wiggler is about to charge his vehicle at you, ending up in massive explosion and maybe killing us all."

"Wait wuh-?" is all what Luigi got to say when Wiggler rammed his kart into Luigi's causing, what Daisy said, a massive explosion.

The explosion blast could be heard from all over the Mushroom Kingdom, but no one really cared.

Mario, red Lakitu, Shy Guy, Rosalina, and surprisingly, Metal Mario all stopped due to the massive explosion that came from behind them all.

Mario then realized that some of his friends, including Bowser, were in that explosion. He quickly turned around to see what had happened. Once there he found a huge crater in the middle of the course.

"Damn! That explosion really did blow the sh!t out of them…" Mario thought, "I still wondering if they're alright…"

At this moment, Rosalina, Shy Guy, red Lakitu and surprisingly again, Metal Mario all came up from behind Mario.

Mario was too stupid to look down the crater, he just assumed that they were all dead. Rosalina came over to him and gave him an unexpected bear hug, where her breasts were against his face.

He couldn't breathe, but he didn't care, due to Rosalina's breasts. Shy Guy, and red Lakitu stood there with their jaws (Shy Guy's mask didn't cover it this time), wide open. Metal Mario just looking straight ahead.

* * *

><p><em>It seems that Metal Mario has no emotions whatsoever. Figures cause he was brainwashed under hypnosis._

* * *

><p>Rosalina realized that Mario has been struggling for about 30 minutes now, and she finally let him go.<p>

"Fresh… air… at… last...!" Mario breathed heavily, "Now what were we doing again?"

Rosalina instantly bear hugged him again.

"NO! BEFORE THIS HAPPENED!" He shouted.

"Oh…" Rosalina mumbled.

Mario peered down the crater, and to his surprise, he found some car parts poking out of the soil.

He dove down the crater and landed on one of the Red Monster wheels.

"Ow…" he mumbled, "Note to self: never do that again."

He dusted off the front of the vehicle with the Red Monster wheels, revealing that it belonged to Koopa Troopa.

"Well, that's one person and a whole lot more to go…" Mario thought. "Apparently, no one else in the crater, so I will have to go look around."

* * *

><p><em>I AM TOO LAZY TO EXPLAIN WHAT HE DOES TO FIND EVERYONE! LET'S JUST SAY THERE WAS MANY EXPLOSIONS AND BLOODY MOMENTS. THAT AND 6 HOURS WENT BY. Why was caps lock on?<em>

* * *

><p><strong>6 hours later…<strong>

"I FINALLY found you!" Mario screamed, "AT LONG LAST, I HAVE FINALLY FOUND YOU ALL!"

Everyone looked up to see the heavily bleeding and injured Mario. Bowser surprisingly cared most for Mario and brought him over to a bench and sh!t. Enemies friendship much?

"Wait a minute…" Mario thought, "Why the hell is HE helping me?"

"Mario, you ok?" Honey Queen asked, "You look terrible."

"Well, no sh!t ya bastard!" Mario yelled, "Do you want to go through what I just did?"

"Umm… No?"

"Good answer."

"Listen Mario, about the races" Daisy began, "Did they cancel it due to the lack of racers? Or did they just fall asleep and is not concerned about our absence?"

"I think the second one is more accurate."

"Ah… well I guess we should head back and continue the race then?"

"I suppose…" Mario said as he got up slowly.

* * *

><p>Luigi did a head-count and only counted 15 racers of 16.<p>

"MARIO!" Luigi shouted, "We're missing someone!"

"Oh, for the love of…!" Mario raged, "Who could we be missing?"

"It seems we are missing Koopa Troopa," Wiggler pointed out.

"MOTHER #!%&ER!" Mario screamed at the top of his lungs, "I LEFT HIM BURIED ALIVE!"

Bowser patted him on the back, "You did the right thing…" he began, "Because now, I don't owe someone a free cafeteria lunch coupon!" he cheered.

Everyone gave Bowser a disgusted look.

"…Alright fine we'll go back to see if he's alright…" Bowser mumbled.

* * *

><p><strong>6 hours later… (Once again)<strong>

"DID WE HAVE TO TAKE THAT WAY?" Everyone, but Mario, yelled.

"Well, I did have to retrace my steps, so I had to take that way." Mario piped up.

"NEVER, IN MY LIFE, WILL I FOLLOW YOU AGAIN!" Yoshi screamed.

Mario approached the crater and peered down, "Looks like Koopa Troopa's car is still buried" he examined, "Apparently he hasn't unburied himself yet."

"Well? Go save him!" Wario said as he shoved Mario down the crater unexpectedly, everyone turned to him with horrified expressions on their faces.

"Okay… I never should've done that."

"IM GONNA KILL YOU FOR THIS!" Mario yelled up at him.

"Mario! Have you already forgotten your reason down there already?" Daisy asked.

"Uhhh… No? Why do you ask?"

"Because you hit the ground pretty hard, it could've injured your brain."

"I feel offended!" Mario screamed, "I've hit my head on many brick blocks saving the princess, and did I forget about saving her?"

"No…" Yoshi mumbled.

"Exactly, I NEVER get head injuries, unless there's a #!%&ing bomb coming toward my head!"

"Speaking of bombs, here comes one now!" Wario yelled, pointing up.

"Mother F-" Mario got caught off because the bomb blew up when it landed on him.

* * *

><p><strong>Several minutes later…<strong>

"Ugh, my head hurts…" Mario whined.

"It's about time you woke up!" Koopa Troopa yelled.

"Where… where am I?"

"You are stuck underneath my car, along with me."

"Ohhh…" Mario said, "So how do we get out of here?"

"I dunno, wait for the others to save us, I guess."

"Oh my god we're gonna die!" Mario screamed.

* * *

><p><strong>Meanwhile…<strong>

"So… what are we playing?" Rosalina asked.

"Poker!" Wario yelled at her.

"But, shouldn't we been trying to save Mario and Koopa Troopa?" Daisy asked.

"Nah, let's let them save themselves…" Bowser spoke up, "Besides, I like a good game of poker."

"Well you dorks can play your game of poker, we others want to save Mario and Koopa Troopa."

Daisy, Peach, Toad, Rosalina and Yoshi all got up and went toward the crater, while the others sat there with playing cards in their hands.

"Hmmm… since we can't see Mario from here the best place to start is where Koopa Troopa's kart is" Daisy said bossily, "We're gonna need to dig with our bare hands."

"My speciality!" Yoshi said as he jumped down the crater.

"But I don't wanna get my hands dirty!" Rosalina complained.

"Too bad!" Daisy yelled, as she shoved her down the crater.

Everyone starting digging around where Koopa Troopa's car was partially buried.

* * *

><p><strong>Meanwhile under the car…<strong>

* * *

><p>Mario started punching the car, but ended up hurting himself.<p>

"Mario, take it easy! We will get out! I'm sure of it!" Koopa Troopa said.

"I hope so…" Mario mumbled.

Mario heard people walking on top of the car, along with people moving dirt.

"We're near moments from freedom!" Mario cheered.

* * *

><p><em>LOOK, if I explain all that happen during Mario's and Koopa Troopa's escape, I'll be here all day (or maybe you will), so I'm just gonna skip past that part and the race will be underway again!"<em>

* * *

><p><strong>Exactly 55 hours later… (2 days and 7 hours)<strong>

"Thank God we can finally resume the race!" Donkey Kong screamed.

"You would think that they would expect us to be lost or something, right?" Luigi asked.

"Well, apparently they don't care about us!" Daisy began, "Maybe they got new racers or something."

"I hope not dammit!" Red Lakitu yelled.

"Hey I just noticed this; each kart has a radio in it now." Yoshi pointed out.

"YAY! NOW I CAN LISTEN TO MY 'Do You Like Waffles?' SONG!" Wiggler cheered.

Everyone looked at him and burst into laughter, "That's the worst song I've ever heard!" Bowser added.

Wiggler turned red to his speech and he rammed his car into Bowser's causing, yet another, massive explosion.

"WIGGLER!" Mario raged, "WOULD YOU STOP GETTING PISSED OFF, SO EASILY ALL THE GOD DAMN TIME!"

Wiggler stopped for moment and stared at Mario, although Bowser had landed behind him, he still managed to keep his eyes on him. Mario stared back at him, but then took his eyes off of him and began the race.

"Screw you, Mario!" Peach yelled randomly, "You got a head start!"

She looked into her conveniently placed telescope and looked around, she then saw Mario going around the track with his middle finger up at her.

"HE IS SO DEAD!" Peach raged, as she and the others followed him.

Mario then passed the finish line, and is on lap 2 of the 3 lap race. The others are soon to follow him so the real fun begins.

* * *

><p><strong>Lap 2 of Toad Circuit…<strong>

* * *

><p>"HOLY SH!T I CAN FLY!" Bowser yelled happily but then crashed into a brick wall.<p>

* * *

><p>"This is gonna hurt…" Mario said as another bomb can down from behind and landed right in front of him.<p>

"I LOVE SABATAGE!" Red Lakitu screamed for no good reason.

* * *

><p>"I got this strange feeling that I'm about to get something awesome…" Rosalina thought, currently in 14th place. She picked up an item box and got a 7. "WHAT THE #!%&amp; IS THIS SH!T?" she screamed when she saw 7 familiar items surrounding her. She used them quite well, but only managed to blow up Donkey Kong.<p>

"SON OF A B!%CH!" DK yelled.

* * *

><p>"Well, I'll be…" Wario began, "I got the Blue Spiny Shell… so I can blow up whoever is in first place…" He threw it and it went crazy, until it reached Yoshi.<p>

"Oh… this is bad…" Yoshi said when the BSS (Blue Spiny Shell), spun around above him and came down on him.

* * *

><p><strong>Lap 3 of Toad Circuit…<strong>

* * *

><p>Somehow in first place right now is Honey Queen, who was having the greatest moment of her life, also known as, winning.<p>

She then began to slow down, "What the hell?" she yelled, noticing the gas meter. "OH COME ON!" she raged, "I'M OUT OF GOD DAMN GAS?"

Everyone passed her and she was left behind, she noticed that she was rolling down the turn, and then noticed a non-used item box in the middle of the road.

"I hope that's a Golden Mushroom…" She thought.

She grabbed the item box when she got close enough and to her surprise, she got a Billet Bill…

* * *

><p>"#!%&amp; YEAH!" Wario screamed, "I'm gonna win!"<p>

"Not today, fatass!" Luigi yelled at him.

They rammed into each other until they heard a rocket-engine like sound. Everyone turned around to see a Billet Bill coming from far behind and is approaching fast!

"Step on it!" Toad screamed.

Everyone slammed on the pedals and tried to out run the approaching Bullet Bill, but unfortunately, they all failed.

"Ow…" Everyone (except Metal Mario) groaned.

The Bullet Bill faded away, revealing Honey Queen who crashed into a wall.

Everyone stared for a moment but then got back into the racing spirit and all drove for the finish line.

The first to cross the line was… Shy Guy! Followed by everyone in some random order.

"#!%& YEAH!" Shy Guy screamed, as he got up and danced like an idiot.

Everyone stared at him. Then Bowser tackled him and bear hugged him.

"You little trooper…" he began, "You lead my legion to a victory in a race…"

Everyone kept staring until Bowser realized them.

He put down Shy Guy and said, "If ANYONE asks, say I won!"

"Ok…?" Shy Guy confused.

* * *

><p><strong>Mario Kart Grand Prix Building.<strong>

"Congratulations, Shy Guy, you've won the first race, scoring 20 points" Green Lakitu said, "Now we gotta get to the next race."

"WHATEVER!" Everyone yelled at him, "WE GOT TO FIX OUR KARTS FIRST SO SHUT THE #!%& UP!"

"Ok…" Lakitu began, "I'll give you guys 20 minutes to fix your vehicles…"

"MAKE IT 30 MINUTES!" Bowser roared at him.

"Ok… you got 30 minutes…" Lakitu mumbled.

* * *

><p><strong>30 minutes later…<strong>

Everyone drove up to the next teleporter, to the next race, once again.

So more fun shall begin later.

* * *

><p><em>I HAD A BLAST WRITING THIS! XD<em>

_Scoreboard/Vehicle Customization (Car, Wheels, Glider)._

_Shy Guy: 20/Pipe Frame, Slim Wheels, Paraglider_

_Luigi: 18/Blue Seven, Mushroom Wheels, Super Glider_

_Daisy: 16/Birthday Girl, Sponge Wheels, Flower Glider_

_M. Mario: 15/B Dasher, Standard Wheels, Swooper_

_Bowser: 14/Koopa Clown, Monster Wheels, Beast Glider_

_Mario: 13/Standard, Standard Wheels, Super Glider_

_Peach: 12/Cloud 9, Roller Wheels, Peach Parasol_

_Yoshi: 11/Cact-X, Sponge Wheels, Swooper_

_Wiggler: 10/Zucchini, Slick Wheels, Paraglider_

_Wario: 8/Bruiser, Slim Wheels, Beast Glider_

_Koopa Troopa: 6/Egg 1, Red Monster Wheels, Flower Glider_

_Donkey Kong: 5/Barrel Train, Wooden Wheels, Super Glider_

_Rosalina: 4/Bolt Buggy, Slick Wheels, Paraglider_

_(Red) Lakitu: 3/Tiny Tug, Roller Wheels, Swooper_

_Toad: 2/Soda Jet, Roller Wheels, Flower Glider_

_H. Queen: 1/Bumble V, Standard Wheels, Flower Glider_

_Okay, so I basically had a fun time writing/typing this, I mostly used my imagination and stuff. I can't wait to do Rainbow Road! Also I may randomize the courses a little bit. I can't believe that there are exactly 16 different kart types in Mario Kart 7! (EXCLUDING THE GOLD PARTS)._

_And that tis all, I shall see you guys soon, I hope._


	3. Scared of Heights?

_Well, sorry to keep ya guys waiting, I've been working on Poke Story too much lately. I will try make it worth the wait by doing random sh!t in this chapter, and I also have a month to work on this. :P _

_Also, I'm extending the period for the working thing, so I'm gonna take up half the month of June, and then the rest of June and July for Poke Story.  
><em>

_Gonna need to get calculator for the score and sh!t. P.S: I dont need one... so... yeah._

_Anyway, Lets-a get this show on the road! AGAIN!_

* * *

><p><strong>What it's Really Like In Mario Kart 7<strong>

**Chapter 3: Scared of Heights?**

* * *

><p>"HELL YEAH! I AM!" Wiggler shouted.<p>

"Who the hell are you talking to?" Bowser asked the caterpillar.

"THE #!%&ING TITLE ASSHOLE!"

"There's a title in here? Where is it exactly?" Bowser asked, looking around.

Wiggler pointed up the huge screen with the words 'Scared of Heights?' on it.

Then they saw a little shadow behind the huge screen.

"Who is that?" Wiggler asked.

"Dont ask me, I just found out that theres a huge TV screen in here." Bowser replied

"_Oh damn! They are catching on to me!_" the mysterious figure said, disappearing somehow.

"Well that was rather... idiotic?" Wiggler said.

"Yep" Bowser agreed.

* * *

><p>The racers approached the starting line.<p>

Shy Guy, who won the last race and is starting in first, is feeling very confident.

Luigi, in second place, is getting very nervous because the other competitors are getting very worked up.

"Today is my lucky day!" Honey Queen said cheerfully, like the bi%ch she is.

"And why is that?" Toad asked.

"Because I'm gonna win this race!" she answered, having a spasm.

Toad stared at her for a while, before turning his head away slowly.

Then Lakitu came down to greet the racers, holding the starting lights in his hand.

"Are you guys ready?" Lakitu asked.

"#!%& YEAH!" everyone replied.

"Three... Two... One... Bananas!"

Every racer went even though Lakitu didnt say go...

And the second race began.

"MORONS!" Lakitu yelled.

Lakitu turned around to see Bowser, who blew his engine, beating up the engine to make it work.

"Piece of sh!t!" Bowser roared.

* * *

><p>Surprisingly, the person who is currently in first is Honey Queen, because everyone freaked out when they saw her in their mirrors that says: 'Caution, images in mirrors are <em>CLOSER<em> then they appear.' So, they turned their vehicles to the side as quickly as possible, but Peach got unlucky and fell off a cliff, again.

"SON OF A-" Peach yelled before no one could hear her.

Wiggler looked down to see Peach fall off the cliff and instantly, he looked away from the cliff, shivering from his fear of heights.

"Hey Wiggler?" Rosalina asked, looking concerned.

The caterpillar jumped at her saying, "Yeah?" he squeaked.

"What's wrong you cold or scared?"

Wiggler, still shivering managed to say, "Umm... kinda both."

"Allow me, to offer you my..." Everyone stared at Rosalina before saying, "coat!" As she pulled it out from nowhere.

Everyone groaned.

Wiggler stared at her for a moment before reluctantly taking the coat and _putting_ it on.

Then everyone saw Bowser pass them and then they joined him to catch up to Honey Queen.

* * *

><p>Honey Queen entered a cave that was filled with Swoopers, one flew into her face.<p>

"Stupid bats... why do they hate me?" Honey Queen asked, listening to the radio loudly.

More bats flew into her, one actually managed to turn down the radio, but she turned it back up after knocking the poor bat off her hand.

Honey Queen then noticed the other racers catching up to her so she just stepped on the gas, but came to a complete stop, ejecting her from her vehicle and into a wall.

Everyone came around the corner to find Honey Queen stuck in a wall, but shrugged and continued on.

Once out the cave, everyone came across a huge downward slope.

"Umm... we go down it?" Luigi asked.

"Its the only way to go... so, HERE GOES NOTHING!" Wario said, speeding down the slope.

Everybody exchanged glances, then went down the slope themselves, Wiggler being the last.

Once to the bottom of the slope, everyone went off a blue booster thing, that allowed them to get out their glider and fly.

Wiggler had a very hard time controlling his vehicle because of his fear of being too high in the air.

Other people such as Lakitu, Mario, Rosalina and Honey Queen, all got the hang of gliding quickly, while Bowser, Donkey Kong, Wario and Koopa Troopa had a harder time.

Everybody landed safely, except for Daisy who was cursing at the wind for blowing her into a tree.

* * *

><p>Peach, who was still falling off the cliff, is screaming at the top of her lungs.<p>

"I NEED HELP NOW!" she screamed, in between screams.

Suddenly the mysterious figure from behind the screen appeared out of nowhere.

Peach stopped screaming and stared at him.

"Do NOT tell anybody about this" he said.

Peach nodded and gazed.

"Now stand still and you'll be where everyone else is..."

"Say what?" Peach said before she disappeared.

* * *

><p>Everyone continued the race after they landed, then Peach came out of nowhere.<p>

"WHAT THE FU-?" Bowser yelled, before Mario slammed him in the face with a hammer.

Peach then landed on Toad, again.

Daisy then bashed her vehicle into Peach's to get her off the mushroom.

"Toad? TOAD? ARE YOU OKAY?" Daisy asked.

Toad then jumped up, and yelled "A-OK!" he said, giving the peace sign.

"Wait... HOW?" Rosalina asked.

"It's called a Back Shield, mother #!%&er!"

Rosalina then rammed into the shroom, sending him flying into a tree.

Everyone gasped at what Rosalina had done.

She then turned into a huge bi%ch, and sped off, down the course again.

Everyone turned and stared at her, when she yelled, "SEE YA LATER, MOTHER #!%&ING SONS OF BI%CHES!" Also giving the middle finger.

* * *

><p>"Well were #!%&amp;ed." Bowser said.<p>

"And why is that?" Luigi asked, calmly.

"Because some hot chick is now raging and somebody wont try and stop her."

"Right... anyway, I think it'll be better if we just leave her alone now." Luigi said.

"So, what will we do, to pass some time?" Shy Guy asked.

"We could... rape the princesses!" Wario said, creeping up on Peach.

"EXCUSE ME! THAT'S TOO INAPPROPRIATE FOR THIS GOD DAMN FIC!" Daisy said.

"Wait, what?" Everyone asked.

"Ugh, never mind." Daisy sighed.

Everyone then ran over to Mario, who had two decks of playing cards, and decided on playing poker.

"_Am I the only one that is aware of this being a story for people's entertainment?_" Daisy thought to herself.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile...<p>

Rosalina keep speeding down the course, unaware that everyone is not chasing her.

She then came upon a hill with a bunch of boulders falling down it.

"Well... I'm #!%&ed... BUT I DON'T GIVE A SH!T!" Rosalina yelled, charging up the hill.

Rosalina made it about halfway when a boulder came out of nowhere and landed on her, knocking her out.

"Uhhh... Mommy wanna cheezbuurguur?" she moaned before becoming unconscious.

* * *

><p>Wario noticed, on his garlic-shaped watch, that 30 minutes has past so they decided to go after Rosalina now.<p>

Once on their way, they came upon the same hill that Rosalina failed on.

No one noticed Rosalina's unconscious corpse on the side of the road as they passed.

"Holy damn! I didnt know Rosalina has made it _this _far." Yoshi said.

"But how do we know if she's alright?" Daisy said.

"Bah, who cares? She's probably dead now!" Wario said.

Mario then smashed his hammer into his foe's face, brutally.

Once they reached the top of the hill, (after a large amount of time) they then got to use their gliders again, but they didnt need to learn how to control it as much as they did before.

And they went on to the second lap.

* * *

><p><strong>Lap 2<strong>

* * *

><p>"I WANNA ROCK! I WANT TO- HOLY MOTHER OF-!" Bowser screamed after getting attacked by a mob of bats.<p>

* * *

><p>"Man, I'm so #!%&amp;ing hungry!" Yoshi said, after his stomach grumbled.<p>

He then noticed a random apple in a tree and decided to get it with his long, sticky tongue.

He reached the apple, but was pulled toward it and was stuck to the apple, dangling from the top of a large tree.

"SOMEONE HELP! DAMMIT!" Yoshi yelled.

* * *

><p>Daisy was enjoying her lovely drive through the cave when she was attacked by a random mob of vampire bats.<p>

"God dammit!" she screamed.

* * *

><p>Rosalina finally become conscious and then got pissed off again.<p>

She drove off in a rage of insanity and caught to everyone very quickly.

* * *

><p><strong>Lap 3<strong>

* * *

><p>"My god, of all the things I saw, THIS is the most disturbing!" Mario screamed, looking at some horrible scene.<p>

* * *

><p>Peach was resting under a tree because she was way out in front.<p>

She then saw Bowser drive by and immediately tased him with her taser!

Then everyone else drove by and got tased as well.

* * *

><p>Rosalina was now enjoying herself because she was now in the lead (somehow) and she is almost at the finish line.<p>

"AWWWWWW... YEAH! IMA BE FIRST PLACE BI%CHES!" Rosalina cheered.

She turned around and saw that everyone recovered from their tasered status and is approaching her fast.

"DAMMIT! I'LL NEVER LOSE TO YOU!" Rosalina screamed at them.

"Oh yes you will!" Red Lakitu yelled back

"Oh no I wont!"

"Oh yes you will!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"SHUT THE #!%& UP AND RACE DAMMIT!" Donkey Kong cut it.

* * *

><p>Rosalina got her wish and won the race after a few minor fights at the top of the hill.<p>

And everyone else... they suffered from major girl-claw-like marks.

* * *

><p>"Well after some crap, Rosalina is finally victorious." Lakitu said, "Scoring 20 points, like Shy Guy in the last race."<p>

"Yes, yes, we get it. It's getting old now." Daisy said, "I'm guessing that we now have to prepare for the next race, and blah, blah, blah."

"... Yeah... thats correct." Lakitu said, agreeing.

* * *

><p>"<em>So... it seems that I will have to do my work in private<em> now..."the mysterious figure said, "_it's gonna be one long year or longer..._"

* * *

><p><em>Hooray for random sh!t!. Anyway, soooooooo sorry for not getting this up as fast as I get Poke Story up. I've been playing too much Minecraft lately. Now for the points:<em>

_Scoreboard.  
><em>

Luigi - 36 pts.  
>Mario - 29 pts.<br>Bowser - 29 pts.  
>Daisy - 29 pts.<br>Shy Guy - 26 pts.  
>Rosalina - 24 pts.<br>Donkey Kong - 17 pts.  
>Wario - 17 pts.<br>Metal Mario - 16 pts.  
>(Red) Lakitu - 15 pts.<br>Peach - 15 pts.  
>Wiggler - 14 pts.<br>Yoshi - 13 pts.  
>Honey Queen - 12 pts.<br>Koopa Troopa - 11 pts.  
>Toad - 7 pts.<p> 


	4. Too Long to Fit Name Read The Thing

_Hooray_ _for quickly uploading! Anyways, I am happy for getting this up. (Also I began this at school XD)_

_This part of the story will tell what all the other mentioned characters is doing while the others are gone to the races. (Waluigi, Diddy, Chief Bee, etc.)_

_So... on now to the story! ( I hope I dont get caught doing this.)_

* * *

><p><strong>What It's Really Like In Mario Kart 7<strong>

**Chapter 4: The Sidekick's, or Side Companion's Side-Adventures.**

* * *

><p>Waluigi, now wearing his fake moustache, is calmly walking by the police station. Wait, WHAT? Anyway, he was also wearing a casual outfit instead of his usual purple one.<p>

"Morning officier, hows the chase going on about a bank robbery?" Waluigi asked.

"Not good. We still did not capture the theif, but we think we know where he lives" the officier said.

"Oh what a shame, anyway I'm off to see my grand-daughter" Waluigi lied.

"Anyway, here's a poster of what the theif looks like" the officier said, handing him a poster of Waluigi, in his normal clothing.

"When I see this theif, I'll report to you guys."

"Great idea... hey! Wait a minute... you look somewhat familiar..." the officier said suspiciously.

"Um... I dont think we met before" Waluigi said, sweating.

"Oh, ok. See ya later."

Waluigi then walked away, thinking, "THAT was too #!%&ing close!"

* * *

><p>Kamek was resting in his bed once again, in peacefulness. When suddenly he was disturbed by a random Bullet Bill that came right through the wall of his room.<p>

"WHAT THE FU-! WHO THE #!%& DID THIS?" Kamek yelled, looking through the hole in the wall, to find two Goombas.

"I TOLD YOU IT WAS A BAD IDEA!" Goomba 1 yelled.

"BUT YOU THE ONE WHO TOLD ME TO DO IT!" Goomba 2 yelled back.

They instantly ran away, both going in opposite directions.

Kamek used his magic to split the Billet Bill into two, and lanched them at the two Goombas, who exploded on impact.

* * *

><p>The Chief Bee was organizing colonies of bees to collect pollen, to make honey, to make their Queen a huge banquet for her first time invited to the Mario Kart Grand Prix.<p>

"Colony 1! Report!" Chief Bee said.

"We found a huge supply of unused flowers, Sir!" the assigned Captain buzzed.

"Excellent, now go havest the pollen in those flowers, AND BRING THEM BACK HERE!" Chief Bee buzzed loudly.

The colony of bees instantly left the hive.

"Colony 2! Report!" Chief Bee said.

"We couldn't find any flowers all over the flowers that werent used in the forest, Sir!" the Captain buzzed.

"Unacceptable! Get out there and find some GOD DAMN FLOWERS!" Chief Bee roared.

The colony left the hive in a huge rampage.

"Finally, COLONY 3! GIVE ME GOOD NEWS OR DONT COME AT ALL!" Chief Bee shrieked.

No one from the colony came.

"NO NEWS IS BAD NEWS!" Chief Bee wrote down.

* * *

><p>Diddy Kong was swinging from tree to tree, looking for a nice banana.<p>

He found one banana at the top of a volcano that has been _sleeping_ for years.

"Ooh... nice BANANA!" Diddy said, running up the volcano's side.

Diddy ran up the hill too fast and ran into the tree the banana was growing on.

Diddy also noticed a sign, "DANGER! DO NOT DROP **ANY** BANANAS INTO THE VOLCANO!"

Diddy noticed the banana was about to fall in the volcano, so he tried to grab it before it fell.

He didnt catch the banana as it fell from the tree, into the volcano and eventually, killing everyone at town.

Diddy ran as fast as he could to warn everyone at the town thats close to the volcano, but as he ran the volcano shook the ground around it, as black smoke came from it's summit.

"Oh... #!%& we are all screwed!" Diddy said, still running towards the town.

* * *

><p>The Lumas are still remembering what they did to Rosalina about 5 days ago.<p>

The Luma with the camera is still staring at the picture of Rosalina dancing half naked.

"Well what do we do now?" A red Luma asked a blue one.

"I dunno" the blue Luma replied, staring at a picture of Rosalina.

"Are we still going on about that whole Rosalina incidence?" a green Luma asked.

"Apparently, I'm way over that" An orange one replied.

"Well, we could go have an-" A yellow Luma was cut off when a pink Luma slammed a jar on head.

"DONT SAY THAT!" She (the pink Luma) yelled.

A purple Luma came to join the discussion.

"So, what will we do, while our _ruler_ is out?" the Red Luma asked.

"Umm..." every Luma at the discussion spoke, "LETS GO TO THE BAR!"

"Okay?" the pink Luma said.

And they went off to the bar, to get very drunk.

* * *

><p>Kamek used his magic to fix the wall, and strengthen it.<p>

"Now to continue my beauty sleep, now that, THAT has been taken care of."

Kamek tried to go back to sleep, but he was interrupted by a Boo.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?" Kamek roared.

"Some advice" the Boo said, timidly.

"I'M NOT IN THE #!%&ING MOOD! GET THE #!%& OUT!"

"Jeez, you dont have to be a dick..." the Boo grumbled, as he walked out.

* * *

><p>Diddy was still running for his life, as the shaking of the ground grew louder, and louder.<p>

He was just about to approach the town when the volcano erupted.

"GOD DAMMIT!" Diddy shrieked.

* * *

><p>Waluigi is still creeping around town when he heard an explosion coming from the volcano.<p>

"DONT TELL ME THAT STUPID MONKEY DROPPED A BANANA IN THE VOLCANO!" Waluigi screamed.

After he finished saying that, Diddy came out of nowhere and ran into him.

Diddy was getting impatient as he got up.

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?" Waluigi shrieked.

"Me accidently ran into tree and knocked banana in volcano" Diddy responded, freaking out afterward.

"YOU IDIOT YOUR GONNA KILL US ALL!" Waluigi said.

Once Waluigi said that the volcano stopped erupting and everything went back to normal.

"The #!%& happened?" Diddy asked.

"I think I stopped the volcano eruption."

"Yay, now me can go look for banana again!" Diddy said, as he hugged Waluigi and ran off.

"Well I'm a genius."

* * *

><p><em>XD I finished and started this at school! I'm a badass!<em>

_Anyway here's some random chapter I whipped up for your entertainment and other things._

_Waluigi stopped a volcano eruption._

_Kamek got pissed off twice._

_Lumas are still talking about the Rosalina incident_

_And other things._

_Well, thats it until August I believe, see ya then. Poke Story time soon!_


End file.
